There's Beauty in the Breakdown
by fromthehillbythelake
Summary: Just a drabble from the Much Music promo where Eli asks "What happened?" Eclare THREESHOT.
1. Chapter 1

**This is really angsty and sad and I don't quite know where it came from. I love Clare, and this storyline just breaks my heart. Just a drabble from the Much Music promo where Eli asks "What happened?"**

**I don't own.**

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"Clare?" he asks, his voice dropping. "What happened?" His tone is soft, concerned, like he's already trying to comfort her even though he doesn't know what's wrong. But she didn't fail a test, or get in a fight with her mom, or leave her homework at home...this is real, and she never in a million years thought it would happen to her.

"He..." she gets out, but her voice quavers and dies. She has to swallow twice, unable to speak around the breath caught in her dry throat.

She considers telling him. Weighs it quickly in her mind.

"He's just been really...harsh lately. Aggressive. I'm just tired." She manages, and she sees the crease in his brow relax a bit.

"I knew he was stressing you out," Eli soothes, not getting it at all. "You're there late practically every night."

She has to look downwards to prevent the tears from falling, feeling helpless and hopeless, wanting him to pick on her subtle insinuations, but not wanting to tell him at all.

"I should go over there right now," he begins teasingly, "and tell him to lay off my girlfriend."

And she smiles, but it's all lip and no teeth and doesn't reach her eyes.

"Hey," he says, and tries to cup his hand to her cheek, but she flinches, her eyes wide and terrified like an animal caught in a cage. But she recovers quickly, pressing her hand atop his on her face, pretending not to notice the hurt in his eyes.

"Clare," he says again, and she can feel it coming. "What happened, _please_?"

She rips his hand off her face, because in that moment, all she feels is the cold, demanding touch of Asher's fingers on her cheek.

"_Nothing_," she answers. "He's just been overbearing Eli; he's my boss. It's just the way he works."

"Clare please," he tries again, wringing his hands because she knows he wants to hold her. "You've been acting...differently lately, I just want to know what's going on..."

He knows. He sees right through her. When she's been trying so hard to bury it, forget it, make it go away.

"I'm _different_, because I've been working non-stop, I barely get any sleep, and you keep-"

"I know," he interrupts gently, "I can see how wound up you are. Do you want me to come with you to work to ask your boss to ease up on you a little bit? I mean you have school to focus on and-"

"No," she spits flatly. _Yesyesyespleaseyes_._Help me_.

"Okay," he says lowly, hovering over the counter now. "Look," he sighs, "I know you're perfectly capable of handling yourself, you're one of the strongest people I know...but what's wrong? You don't..." he falters, not sure how to continue.

_I'm not strong_, she almost whispers.

"You don't seem like you want to be around me anymore. I feel like you don't like talking to me. You don't let me touch you, we haven't kissed in a long time - not really - and," he continues in his most gentle tone, "we talked about sleeping together, and now all of a sudden, you're not interested..."

Because she's dirty. Asher touched her and he lingers on her and if Eli undressed her, he'd know. Nobody could want her now.

She misses looking in the mirror and liking what she sees.

"I mean, I completely respect your decision if you still want to wait, but I hate to think that you feel like I've been pressuring you. I hate to think that you feel like you can't talk to me..."

She stands in his kitchen, looking down at the floor like some petulant child receiving discipline from their parent. And she's reminded that she _is_ just a child, and that this should have never happened.

She thought if something ever happened to her like this, that she'd tell someone right away. She thought she'd beat the shit out of the bastard and get him thrown in jail. But here she is, suffering in silence like some fictional character, weak and guilty and embarrassed, reminding herself that this is real and not just some nightmare, and _How am I supposed to deal with any of this now that it's here? What am I supposed to do? _How could anyone look at her the same? She was just another statistic now, caught up in the judgments of 'victim' and 'what she deserved.'

He looks desperate now, watching the emotions flicker across her face. "Clare, we agreed to communicate better this time...here I am, just asking you to talk to me...please. Nothing you could say could make hate you or judge you...I'm here. And I know something's wrong."

"You don't know anything," she grinds out.

"Clare-"

"You think I have time to cater to you all the time? I have my own life, I can't be taking care of you too, especially when you get all paranoid about the fact that we're not spending every living second with each other-"

The silence is palpable; his jaw clenches, his shoulders brooding.

"This isn't you talking," he whispers, "this isn't you."

"_Your boyfriend seems pretty needy," Asher remarked, and she was filled with anger; a sudden need to defend Eli. He didn't know Eli at all. She politely disagreed, finding the whole topic inappropriate, so she switched to a new one. She thought she could trust Asher, after the opportunity, guidance, and praise he'd given her. It started the next day._

"I need to go," she utters, picking her paper off his kitchen counter.

"You said you were all in." His words weren't spiteful or harsh, just confused; totally and utterly lost.

"I am," she breathes, walking over to grip the back of his neck and run her fingers through his hair. "I just have to go right now, okay?"

He regards her with heartbreaking sadness.

"Is it me?" he asks. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No," she says firmly. "No."

"Please just tell me," he pleads. "I can help you. I can be better. I can fix this."

He is killing her.

"Just pick me up after work, okay?" she murmurs, and presses the softest of kisses to the corner of his mouth.

"We need to talk about this," he affirms, closing his eyes at her gentle gesture.

"I have to go," she reminds him.

"You're not happy Clare, and it's not okay."

"I'll handle it."

And he is brought back to a long time ago, a warm day in March when he said the same thing. His worst lie, because he'd even convinced himself. Before everything went to shit.

"I'll see you later," she smiles, squeezing his shoulder before turning towards the door.

He's frozen...wanting to jump in front of her and block her way, wanting to sit her down and force her to talk. He could get Alli or Jenna or Adam or Jake or her parents even, just so long as she talked.

"I love you," he says, watching her turn the handle and step outside.

She looks at him, a soft blush on her cheeks. And she wonders sadly how he could love a girl he doesn't know anymore.

"I'll see you later, Eli."

* * *

-x-

_There is nothing more beautiful than the way the ocean refuses to stop kissing the shore line, no matter how many times it is sent away._

-x-

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**I'm so sorry :( Review lovely? **  
**Now I'm sad, fuck.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Well, a fair bit of people seemed to want me to continue this story (you angst!lovers you), so I decided to make it a THREESHOT. Now, I warn you it gets worse...I'm sorry, it's just the way it worked out in my head and I had to go with it. And I was a bit reluctant to update because summersetlights already wrote such a beautiful version, and I haven't read all of hers yet because what I did read was sorta similar to my ideas and I didn't want to copy or follow hers too closely...but here we go!**

**Thank you to all the lovely people who reviewed and favourited.**

**I don't own.**

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-x-

"Pick up, pick up, _pick up_," she begs.

"Clare-"

"Eli."

"Are you-"

"Can you pick me up?" she asks, a little too brightly for a girl who's shaking.

There's a pause. "Bossy," he teases, a desperate attempt to grasp at older, happier times.

"Please?" she laughs, though it's more of a plea.

"I'll be right there," he swears, and she wants to shout _Wait! _but he's already ended the call.

-x-

"How was work?" he asks once she sits in the passenger seat. She looks at the dash of Bullfrog's Mustang, and ignores him.

"That bad eh?" he says softly.

"Can we just get out of here?" she snaps, and looks determinedly out the window.

"Yeah," he answers, the hurt swimming in his chest.

She won't look at him, but he won't look away.

"I have to take a piss. Just wait here okay?"

She looks at him finally, horrified. "What?" she gasps, snatching his arm. "No. You can't. Let's just go-"

"Clare, it's alright. Just give me five seconds okay? I swear I'll be right back."

"Please," she cries, "let's just go! I'm so tired Eli, _please_."

"Five seconds, I promise," he smiles, brushing his thumb over her cheek before he pushes open the door. She grips him tighter.

"I'll be back before you know it," he assures, slamming the door.

-x-

"Mr. Shostak?" he calls, pushing against the office door. "Asher!"

The man looks at Eli; his expression distraught and murderous at the same time.

"Got a moment?" Eli asks boldly, and Asher gestures to the seats in front of his desk.

"What brings you here Mr. Director, _boyfriend_ of Clare Edwards?"

Eli rolls his shoulders uncomfortably, but offers the man a smile.

"I have a favour to ask."

"You can _ask_ any favour you like," Clare's boss says lowly, "but I can't guarantee I'll provide."

The raven-haired teen stiffens at that.

"Clare put her whole heart into that article, and it would mean the world to her if you would reconsider leaving it out of tomorrow's newspaper."

Asher's eyes narrow at him.

"Clare Edwards has her cunning boyfriend do her bidding, does she?"

_One, two, three_, Eli counts, clenching his jaw and tightening his fists at his sides.

"No, I'm here of my own accord," Eli continues. "She deserves her name in print - I know it, and you know it."

Asher guffaws, and swipes his tongue across his teeth before standing up.

"Yes, she's the best Intern I've ever had, no doubt about that," he says casually. "So...eager."

Eli steps forward, his hips touching Asher's desk, his eyes meeting the man's; unrelenting.

"There you have it," he says lowly. "Obviously her article deserves to be in your paper."

Neither of them move, unwilling to bend. They'd rather break.

Asher laughs after a moment. "You're right," he says, "she does deserve it."

Eli regards the man, still unyielding.

"Tell her she's got to be here extra late tomorrow...there is no free lunch, after all."

Eli searches the man's eyes quickly, not sure he likes what he sees. "She'll be there."

"Good," Asher smirks, and Eli wants to smack it off his face.

"Thank you," he nods, and realizes how tense he is. He takes two even breaths, expelling the utter paranoia that suffocated him only moments ago and turns to leave. He feels sick, for a reason he can't place. But Asher isn't finished.

"Clare's lucky to have such a protective boyfriend...I'll have to watch my back."

"And I'll have to watch mine," Eli states, shutting the door behind him.

-x-

"Why would you do that?!" she shrieks, and Eli's never seen her so distraught. "Why would you talk to him? Why would you interfere?_ Why would you threaten my boss?!_"

"I didn't threaten him," he tries to explain, "I just told him that my girlfriend deserves to have her article published, especially after all the work you've done for him!"

"Why would you do that?" she screams, and starts sobbing uncontrollably. "Why would you put yourself in danger?"

"In danger?" he asks, doing his best to hold her. "Clare, I don't understand. How am I in danger?"

"I can't-" she yells, collapsing in his arms. "I can't!"

"Clare!" he breathes, "Clare it's okay! He just wants you to work later tomorrow with him, that's all. If you don't want to do it, or if it's too much stress, it's okay, don't worry, I can tell him. It's okay-"

"NO, IT'S NOT!" she shouts, pushing him so violently he staggers back. "You've ruined everything! I can't deal with this! Why couldn't you just leave it alone?!"

"Clare!" he begs, and realizes that he's crying too. "What's wrong with you? _Please_, it's okay!"

"GET OUT!" she shrieks, pushing him harder. "GET OUT! LEAVE!"

He tries to grab her fists, but she's thrashing wildly.

"Please," he gasps, "what happened? Just tell me! I'm not going to leave you!"

"I hate you!" she bawls. "I HATE YOU! JUST GO!" And she throws him against her front door, pushing until he's forced outside.

"Clare!" he roars, pounding himself against her door that she just manages to lock. "_CLARE_!" he yells in agony.

He tries calling her mom and dad at their cottage; Jake at Katie's, but he drops his phone five times. His vision is so blurred he can't even see the screen. He tries calling her cell, her home, over and over again but still, she's silent. He shakes every time he hears the blaring ring from outside.

And he stays outside all night in his leather jacket and combat boots, knowing that this is so much bigger than the two of them.

* * *

-x-

_So if I broke your heart last night it's because I love you most of all._

-x-

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**I hope you enjoyed this chapter, mean as it was, and I hope we can all survive Clare's plotline tonight. She's such a strong angel :( Review?**


	3. Chapter 3

**Well, here's part 3! Thank you for following the long and angsty brick road. Love to everyone who's read this.  
****To Clare, until the end.**

**I don't own.**

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He wakes up to her face, sunlight surrounding her.

She raps on the window. _Please?_ her eyes seem to ask.

He ignites the engine; the vibrations welcome with his muscles wound so tightly.

"Come eat," she says, leaning close.

"I'm not hungry," he hears himself say. He makes his way out of the car reluctantly, leaning against the door.

"Here," she says, and pulls a blanket from behind her back. She stands on her tippy toes to wrap it around his shoulders.

He falls in love with her all over again, no matter that this girl seems different than the one before. And it _hurts_. But it's all he knows.

She stops at her front door, and reaches her hand out to him.

He hesitates, and realizes he's never done that before.

"Red sky at morning, sailors take warning," she says, looking to the clouds.

He follows her inside.

-x-

She's in the kitchen, and he passes the broken plaque. Her article lies crinkled and ripped on the table and he has to take a moment before he can bring himself to face her.

"Want pancakes?" she asks.

And suddenly he's furious.

"No."

And he immediately regrets it.

"I'm sorry about last night," she lets out. "I'm just stressed about work. I was being dramatic. You don't have anything to worry about."

He looks at her.

"I can't handle this whiplash," he rasps, his voice heavy.

Her mouth falls. "Then leave," she snaps, turning to look out the window.

"I can't," he says. "I won't."

She takes a breath.

"I know I've been difficult to deal with lately," she whispers. "I'm sorry. It's just work-"

"It's not just work," he cuts in. "It's not."

"Asher said I was neurotic," she smiles bitterly. Who is she to be emotional? Who is she to burden the people she loves? Stupid, naive girl. Trusting, forgiving girl.

Strength escapes her; funny, since it's what people call her. _Strong_. She forgets what that feels like.

"Clare, is Asher hurting you?"

The question is so blunt that she starts laughing. She balances on the peripeteia of it all. It's cruel how difficult a question can be when the answer means so much.

"Don't be stupid."

"Clare," he growls, "what happened?"

"Nothing," she answers.

-x-

"I'm so proud of you," he whispers, wrapping himself along side her on her bed.

She reported him. Contacted his past Interns, other girls he'd abused, and got him arrested.

Her mom had cried, her dad had cried, Glen had cried, Jake had cried, Eli, Alli, Jenna, Adam, and Katie had cried. She was sick of it. But remembered why it was supposed to hurt so much. Why she did it.

Memories of _"Why didn't you say anything?"_ and _"I should have protected you,"_ and _"I'm so sorry,"_ played in her mind.

"_I didn't want to hurt you," she said to him, "you were so happy."_

"_I'm your boyfriend," he said roughly. "I need you to know that I'm here for you. Through anything. Like you've always been for me."_

_She couldn't stop crying._

"_I thought you would kill him," she confessed, her lips trembling._

"_Death is too good for him," Eli hissed._

_She stiffened at that._

"_I'm sorry," she managed, and he took her in his arms._

"_I want to kill him," he admitted. "I want to, but I know I can't. I know I won't."_

_She breathed him in._

"_You have to let me be angry Clare," he continued. "I'm not going to lose it. Just let me be angry."_

_She nodded into his neck._

"_I'm sorry," she uttered again. She just wanted to take his hurt away - her hurt away._

"_I'm supposed to be saying that to you," he breathed._

She closes her eyes, losing herself in his embrace.

"This is going to be Hell," she says, thinking of the questions and judgements and lies she'll have to face in court.

"For a little while," his voice rumbles. "You put a big name behind bars. _You_, Clare."

"Not yet," she whispers.

"Soon," he assures.

It's quiet for a moment.

"You have people that love you," he says softly. "You're still the strongest person I know. Everything will be okay. The world got it right this time."

"How can you be so sure?" she turns to face him.

"Because, it's all I know."

"_Clare," her sister sighed into the phone. "You sound sad..." Her voice sounded like hope and warmth and home, and that's when Clare started bawling._

_They cried for hours together after Darcy bolted through the front door last night. For what was lost, for what was to come, for the bittersweet comfort of their embrace and what it took them to get there._

"Look," she breathes, grabbing Eli's hand and gazing out her bedroom window. "Red sky at night, sailors delight."

* * *

-x-

"I hope with quiet sincerity that the final words that will ever leave these lips of mine will always be 'I love you.'" -Tyler Knott Gregson

-x-

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**I hope this was alright readers. I like this story quite a lot, thought it's not rainbows and sunshine, ha. Review?**  
**And as always, thank you.**


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